Waiting; a poem about life

Waiting for life, waiting for tests, for scores and results

Waiting for love, waiting for loss, for recovery or the rest

Waiting for kids,  waiting for parents, friends or ‘the best’

Waiting for time to pass, when does it end

Waiting to speak, waiting to share, to post or peek

Waiting to feel, to need and be needed

Waiting till later, not till tomorrow, maybe next year

Waiting, waiting, what is our fear

Begin now, begin today, no more of this wasting away

Life is fleeting, up and down, we sit wondering around and around

 Waiting for until the time is right

Then when its gone we wonder what happened; we sit and ponder

Waiting for an answer to come

We hurry up to wait

We complain about having to wait

But wait, be sure not to rush in, ask a friend

Wait for their opinion until you decide

Wait until you can enjoy the ride

But then its gone and your standing alone

Waiting for the one to come

Times you should have shone

By Sheri Hall

Thanks for reading.

Capture your Grief Poetry 11-15

Altar

Christening

Marriage

Funeral

Service

To rejoice

To love

To cherish

To remember

To dread

Or

Is an altar a business based on your feelings

Or

 A need society has imposed

By Sheri Hall

Music

Fills your heart with a memory

Clears your head from thought

or

Floods your head with memory

Hurts your heart with thought

By Sheri Hall

 

Season

Sparkles in their eyes while a different kind shines in yours

Memories to be made while ones haunt you from before

Laughter becomes forgetfulness if only for a moment

A season can bring many things to light

A summer breeze drawing a calming breathe

A winter chill forcing us to hug tighter

A fragrant bloom making us smile

A falling leaf reminding us we all die

By Sheri Hall

Dark; Light

The dark part of you mind that you run from to find the light

The brightness that makes you cringe and want to hide in the dark

A light chat about the weather can turn into a dark chat about life

A dark sorrow shared can turn into a light weight lifted

Without one there can not be the other

By Sheri Hall

 

Community

Surrounds you; crushes you

Feels you; sympathises you

Feeds you; helps you

Loves to leave you patting themselves on the back

Helps the struggling; counsels the lost

Paid minimally; unappreciated  by their boss

Government; society; a mixed up bunch of ethics

Want versus need gets ignored through greed

Community can mean so many different things

All becomes irrelevant; traveling into the wind

By Sheri Hall

 

Thanks for reading,

Namaste,

Sheri

f0c47d1320fb2fe769d047d5fc34df45Up next 16,17 & 18

 

 

 

 

 

Poems on the Heart, Before & Now

Heart

I felt my heart break

 As the words I did not want to hear filled the silence

Your child will die

Even as I write about her

I feel my heart beat so violently

As my hands begin to shake on the keyboard

Remembering that moment my heart broke

Feels it is cracking a little more

At the memory

Her heart was broken when she was born

That is why she is not here

Now we share a broken heart

Though I must live with mine

By Sheri Hall

Before

Ignorance was bliss

Death a distant thought

Problems petty

Always enough time

Free to complain

Love to whine

Future filled with dreams

Undetermined life to complete

All the space to be free

Before is now a category

No longer a dream

A reality

That never came to be

By Sheri Hall

Now

I look for signs

A flower unsuspectedly growing where one was not planted

A cloud shaped like a heart floating by

Hummingbirds buzzing at the front door; never seen there before

A sudden star beaming from the sky

The song at just the right time on the way home

Unprovoked thoughts

 Sudden tears

Overheard words

Irrational fears

Guilt claims a space

Regret moves in next door

Reality sets in

The new normal

Must begin

Now

By Sheri Hall

 

Thanks for reading

(up next #5,6 & 7)

f0c47d1320fb2fe769d047d5fc34df45Namaste,

Sheri

Capture your Grief in 18 days

February 1 2017

In 17 days on the 18th of February it will be 5 years since my daughter Lily died unexpectedly in my arms, I say unexpectedly not because we did not know something was wrong but we were so surprised at what we were suddenly going through and although we learned of many complications in her tiny body that made it impossible for her to live, we learned those in the matter of a week, the last week of her life, after many scans and x rays, until that point we had a healthy pregnancy followed by a traumatic delivery that was to leave her with a disability, the seriousness of it to be determined as she grew. But she did not grow, she died. She died after they told us she would never breathe on her own, after they told us she needed a tracheotomy and 3 heart surgeries but was not nearly healthy enough to survive 1 surgery  let alone 4 and so we allowed them to remove her breathing tube and she died in our arms. I remember that day like a dream. I held her so tight praying for her to breathe on her own, I remember not wanting to look at her in case her face was blue; not wanting that to be my last memory of her. I remember walking down an incredibly loud hallway that was filled with silence, back to our car, not to return to that hospital for a year but that time to see her memorial tile that now sits outside the NICU. Numb with the shock of what just happened.

So in honor of the 5th year of her lost life I will be writing my grief in poem or short story form with Carly Marie’s Capture your Grief as a guideline ( photo below).

I will post them like the poem writing challenge of December, in groups of 3, although feeling overwhelmed today I may just be able to do 1. -Sunrise

Thank you for reading,

I hope you enjoy and implore you to write for yourself, to heal yourself, to help understand your grief or life changes that leave us feeling lost and confused.

Namaste,

Sheri

f0c47d1320fb2fe769d047d5fc34df45

 

Sunrise

The dawn of a new day

The first light seeps in

the thoughts come rushing back

the ones that kept me awake

praying for morning to come quickly

The memory of the previous week

was it all a dream

can I disappear into the sunset

and return with you in the sunrise

I wish I did not have to open my eyes

I sat for hours on a bench

 watching the sun come over the tree tops

 wondering where you have gone

dreaming you were watching this morning sky with me

But alas there will be many more without you

The beauty of them has not left me blind

so I assume I will be okay

the words it paints across the sky

fill my heart with hope

that tomorrows’ sunrise

I will be fine in time

By Sheri Hall

 

 

 

The underside of my heart… or bunk bed.

bunk-bed

 

This is the underside of my kids bunk bed, this is what I have looked at, often fallen asleep staring at while holding my little babies as they too fell asleep. A memory that will forever be in my heart. Let me explain, all three of my kids have slept in this bottom bunk, the upside down Spider-Man on the right was placed there by my oldest when he was two and a half, he loved spider man. He went through three different Spider-Man costumes from the ages of two to five because he wore them as a daily uniform. The Scooby doo sticker placed there by my second born who to this day still loves Scooby, often wearing Scooby doo t-shirts and watching it on TV or reading Scooby books at night. The Barbie sticker placed by the recent occupant of the bottom bunk my fourth child, my princess, my hope. Who is the girlish of girls that loves all that is pink or sparkly. She loves it when I wear heels or jewellery, which is rare.

But why is the underside of this bunk the underside of my heart?

I have spent eight years laying here holding, comforting, reading to and staring at my beautiful children. I have spent nights beside them when they have been sick or scared from a bad dream. I have escaped to this bed after an argument with my spouse to hold their tiny bodies as a comfort myself. I have cried many times staring up at these stickers, wishing time would stop, wanting them not grow up anymore. But also it is my heart because I spent over a year holding my second born, while my oldest was on the top bunk reading aloud to them both, then singing aloud to them both all the while thru tears, pausing to breathe between the shaking of my breath, I was lucky I suppose they were too little to notice I was crying. Certain books got me, like Robert Munsch’s ‘Love You Forever’ or my kindergarteners favorite ‘The Kissing Hand’ which taught him to kiss my hand every time I left him at school and he needed one on his palm in return to hold until the end of the day or a certain lullaby, most have references to babies in them but mostly it was right after I lost my third child at two months old that I cried every night I put them to bed. I cried because I was wasn’t putting her to bed, I cried because I was terrified of losing them too. I cried because I always end my string of lullabies with a song that has her name in it. I was and am still comforted that I had those moments, as hard as they were, they consoled my grief, being able to be with them and not be alone with my thoughts. The physical pain in those early days was excruciating to bare, but I would go back to feel it in a heartbeat.

Thanks for reading

Namaste,

Sheri

 

 

Nature, Pink, Inspiration

Nature

Human nature; Mother nature

A reflex automated by the brain

A seed blown in the wind grows with rain

A twitch of a memory causing pain

Destruction of her for our vain

What was once nature is natural no more

Acid rain to paint our faces

Aluminum foil to wrap our races

Creating color for our clothes

While ignoring the color of society’s woes

Where has human nature gone?

Disappeared with mother natures’ land

By Sheri Hall

Your Inspiration

Her smile, her eyes, laughs and cries

The joy she brings when I hear her sing

Tiny hands embracing mine

Security given all the time

No purposeful hurt only love

Innocent and sweet watching from above

Rough and tumble like little bear cubs

Poking and teasing, covered in smiles

Supporting their falls all the while

Four inspirations my heart brings to mind

All I want is for them to shine

By Sheri Hall

 

 

Pink

Lips shoes nails

Hearts lungs veins

Cheeks petals pails

Races shirts sails

Days’ weeks’ celebrations

Birds houses cars

Dusk dawn Mars’s rotation

Big small

Vast wide

Pink can be found all around

Or inside

 

By Sheri Hall

 

 

poem-challenge

Up next # 23,24 & 25

 

Thanks for reading.

I know December is over, however, I did not start the challenge until mid December. I love how it has forced me to write every day, on a specific topic, make time for what you love they say- but sometimes a challenge helps.

Happy New year to all.

Namaste,

Sheri

 

 

 

 

Write for no one

A Friend

A shoulder to cry on

A truth to be told

A heart to empathize

A hand to hold

A laugh to share

A partner in crime

A friend is always there

Hard times

Fast times

Easy times

Slow times

All the times a smile, a note, a call

Big or small proved the love of a friend

 

By Sheri Hall

 

Music

To my ears, fills my bones

Makes my limbs want to jump and jiggle

Like a belt tied to my waist forcing it to sway

Music is funny that way

Creating a lyric or chord that strums

Straight to the heart rewarding the magic

Hearing the constant hum

By Sheri Hall

 

Family

Born from blood; often turns cold

No more love; as stones overturned

Born from love; always to hold

Faults ignored; but encouragement told

Born from ego; tend to get burned

So many lessons go unlearned

Born from hate; never pleasing

Always a distaste of memories leaving

Born from lust; often abandoned

Turned to love for one that is stranded

Born from tradition; no choice in place

Resentment grows as does pride face

Born from choice; the outcome shines

For when done for our self success is born

 

By Sheri Hall

 

 

poem-challenge

Up next # 20,21 & 22

Thanks for reading,

Namaste,

Sheri

 

Letters make a word, words make a poem

Something beginning with T

Truth in Tears

Tough on Thoughts

Too thorough to try to make breakthroughs in time

Tired of Trolls; trolling

Trying to take down the lies

Tiring times of today

Twoonies, trees, tortoises’ things that may go extinct

Terrible truths if properly thought

Tick tock as the time runs away

By Sheri Hall

 

Love

A glance across a crowded room; love at first sight blooms

It seems a gentle touch; lovely as a smile encouraging the heart

To fall in love

To love the faults we discover past that first look

Sometimes the love does not last

To love the loss because of what it has taught

To lose yourself again to love; bravery comes from within

Wishing for a new look a kind nod simple smile

That can turn to love; true love

But what is love if we do not first love ourselves

By Sheri Hall

 

 

Confidence

Standing tall in the face of blame

Taking heart in others shame

Feeling pain and showing grace

Being confident does not come easy

With practice compassion belief

Confidence grows like a weed

 

By Sheri Hall

 

poem-challenge

Up next – 17, 18 & 19

Thanks for reading,

Namaste,

Sheri

Just Write

After reading Elizabeth Gilberts Big Magic I felt/feel so inspired, enlightened, encouraged! Not even realizing I needed the permission I was given when I read it.

She says simply -write for you. Write to be creative, create because it makes you feel good not because you expect a praise or a check or it to be your income. Just don’t stop creating, don’t stop writing, drawing, sculpting, whatever it is that fills your heart do it. Have an affair with your writing. Make time for it. Make it a priority.

She says, which I could not agree with more, writing is a release, after completing something you love you almost feel like you got away from yourself, you took a break from your self and your thoughts because when you are simply  writing, creating and letting it overcome you, you can escape. I feel that. Thank you Liz Gilbert.

That is the tip of the iceberg of revelations in this wonderful book encourage us to do what we love with no need for approval or appraisal or monetary gain. You need to read it for yourself to truly encapsulate yourself in its knowledge.

So with that. I start a new challenge to myself. Lately I have been enjoying writing poems.  I saw this daily poem challenge on a fellow writer/bloggers page, Thanks Ameena.K

https://randomsbyarandom.wordpress.com

and thought -Yes! that’s what I want to do. So here it is- I am not focusing on the dates but simply completing each topic one by one on a daily basis.

poem-challenge

First

We long, we love, we grow
As we discover; we yearn to know
The
First smile, first touch
First kiss, first lust
First hope, first dream
First lessons learned in between
First hurt, first loss
First pain,
All at once life’s changed
Becoming
First growth
We slowly see the reason of being

 

 

By Sheri Hall

Thanks for reading,

Namaste.