Posted on September 2, 2019 by sheri777

I had a FB memories pop up from 2012 this is what I wrote…

So I made it into a meme with my artwork.

Thanks for reading.

Some days….

Posted on August 27, 2019 by sheri777

Grief poems, thoughts & rituals. PSX_20190827_072120

Made my first meme with a poem I wrote 6 years ago for my daughter…

That is what I love about writing, keeping journals, diary posts etc… You can go back to exactly how you felt at a certain moment in time be it happy or sad.

Sheri

A poem for Carson

Posted on August 13, 2019 by sheri777

Your death creates fear about futures unclear

Your loss makes us anxious; how to steer clear

Your innocence stolen; gone too soon

Broken down simply;

Death creates fear

Loss is anxiousness

Your life was stolen

The story untold while grief unfolds

Anger subsides, no answer to why

Young and trusting or foolish and rushing

Those left behind; hurt and confused

Forever staring at the invisible bruise

What makes a child turn away

Do drugs, solicit sex instead of play

Why has society drifted from truth

That an end by drugs is common for youth

The loss of a child is the worst; its true

Whether 3, 11 or at 22

The order of death is not correct

The mind scrambles to accept

Hurt and pain fill each room

With presence of a life gone too soon.

_________________________________________

Written for Carson Crimeni a 14 year old boy who was given drugs by older kids to watch how he reacted.

He died.

His death has affected our community not only because of its circumstances but because of his age, naivety and vulnerability. And because it creates fear in us all.

I drive by the site at best 4x a day, I see the flowers, my heart pounds as my eyes swell. He is not my son but very well could be. No one knows who it could be next, no one is invincible.

Child loss is a pain no parent can heal from.

You can learn from it. You can grow from it. You can continue to live. But there is no getting over the loss of a child, regardless their age.

I hurt for his parents, for all parents who’ve lost a child to drugs, accident, illness or violence. Miscarriage, stillbirth or congenital diseases.

Death creates fear and uncertainty but moreso when its your child and you can’t understand why or how to move on, the world stops awhile.

I wrote this (above) but the picture attached below with a poem is written by an unknown author.

Thanks for reading,

Sheri

Grief poems, thoughts & rituals.

Posted on July 29, 2019 by sheri777

Capture your Grief; Relationships

Posted on October 16, 2018 by sheri777

Day 16 – Relationships

Relationships and Grief:

Grief from a death, loss of job, divorce, betrayal of trust, there are so many ways that can be the cause of our discomfort of our grief, as well as, secondary factors that those have led to such as anxiety, sleep problems, claustrophobia, distrust, anger.

To manage so many forced emotions due to one uncontrollable action or many unforeseen events that occurred can be daunting, exhausting, unwanted. So for many we take it our on the relationships closest to us. We yell quicker, we hurt with less care of the result, we ignore or become aggressive to them. Grief can be a major destruction to relationships. It can force us to see someone in a different light, with the new forced lens of our new reality. It can force us to appreciate different things that maybe did not matter before therefore changing how we view a relationships importance to a specific person. Relationships are very complex, that of mother/daughter, father/son and vice versa, that of our spouse or partner, our relationship with our children or nieces and nephews, aunts or uncles. All are very different from each other and can and will be impacted differently by grief.

I think the only advice is to take your alone time, time to walk independently in your own thoughts and not others opinions or judgment. Space away to help figure out emotions without feeling the need to change them for certain people which results in having us begrudge them. Everybody wants to fix you and that in itself is what causes the problem within relationships after an event that causes grief. Distance from those people can help to figure out your own boundaries and navigate each specific need towards dealing with the grief and or situation that has caused it.

An odd fact told to me and my husband after we were told if our daughter survived and lived with all her disabilities is that the divorce rate among parents with disabled kids was higher. Gee thanks? After she died, it was repeated but because of the different reason. I found it, still find it odd that people let alone a doctor would find this information useful let alone necessary. What worked for us was distance, distance from others to live and be in our sorrow without facts or statements from others. People will assume you are withdrawing but no, we need space and time to learn how to navigate on our terms for the new normal we live.

Take your time. You will need it to preserve the relationships that matter.

Thank you for reading,

Sheri

Capture your Grief; Wisdom/Support/Transformed

Posted on October 9, 2018 by sheri777

Day 7 – Wisdom

Wisdom comes from growth, wisdom comes from pain over happiness, wisdom comes from knowledge and experience. Wisdom cannot come from ignorance, nor can it be born our of prejudice. Wisdom does not discriminate however those who discriminate cannot earn wisdom. Wisdom comes from acceptance. Wisdom cannot be earned with money nor rewarded with patience, wisdom comes through living in others shoes, empathetic growth teaches wisdom and a life of non judgment can bring wisdom. When we chose love over hate, our wisdom well gets filled with the many accepting pieces of history that hurt. When we chose knowledge over power we earn the wisdom of self reflection and not obedience. Wisdom can be held in a tall oak tree if you stare and imagine long enough, its view and many visitors. Wisdom is a gift not given to all nor does it come with age but with observation.

Day 8 – Support

A gentle smile

A thoughtful wave

A needed hug

A helping hand

A pat on the back

A tap on the shoulder

A meaningful look into ones eyes

A door held open

A bag helped carry

A card in the mail

A call on the phone

A walk in silence

Day 9 – Transformed

One day you wake up and jump pout of bed without noticing you didn’t struggle to get up, the day is half done before you realize how easy it was to get to this point in the day when at another time, the hours dragged for you to move, to shower, to dress, to not get back into bed. This day when it happens, comes as a surprise, when, how did you get here, this day is the beginning of your transformation. Something inside you shifted and wanted more, to keep going, to survive. It can take years before the transformation happens but have faith in yourself, you can get there. One day. You will transform. Your pain into growth will guide you. Be open.

Thanks for reading,

Sheri

Capture you Grief

Posted on October 1, 2018 by sheri777

Writing Challenge Day 1: Sunrise

My Sunrise

Chemicals cross the sky causing the sunrise, we feel unattainable glory at the beauty it beholds. Every Sunrise is a new beginning, a fresh start, another chance. Some yearn for it while others despise it. Those who want to go back to re-live a memory, those that cannot let go, the wounds too raw. Every new sunrise a defeat a reminder that yesterday is done. There is no way back. You have no choice but to keep moving forward, to hopefully realize you still get to see the sunrise.

Thanks for reading,

Namaste,

Sheri

The number Seven

Posted on September 23, 2018 by sheri777

I have always had an obsession with numbers, I have also always had a hard time falling and staying asleep, so I spent many nights awake as a child counting numbers, figuring out various equations to pass the hours of the night until I eventually drifted off to sleep. It is something I still do as an adult, although not as much.

You lived 52 days- 5 + 2 = 7

Your dad and I were married on 7th day of the 7th month in 2007 after 7 years together, we have now been together for 17.

You should be turning 7 this Christmas; and we will mourn the 7th anniversary of you death next February.

What is the meaning of the number 7?

“The number 7 is the seeker, the thinker, the searcher of Truth. The 7 doesn’t take anything at face value — it is always trying to understand the underlying, hidden truths. The 7 knows that nothing is exactly as it seems and that reality is often hidden behind illusions.”

My daughter, Hope, that I had after Lily died, has just started kindergarten, I am immediately taken back 2 years to when Lily was supposed to start kindergarten and how hard I found seeing all those first day of kindergarten photos of friends with little girls the same age. Wondering how she would do, would she even have gone with all the disabilities she inevitably would have had because of her brain stem injury at birth.

In the past few weeks I have been re encountering the number 2, every day at 2:22 it seems my eyes are drawn to the clock, that has not happened since 2 years after she died, the 2 year mark, where all assume your ‘over it’ especially if you were lucky enough to have another after. I seem to stop running on the treadmill at 22mins, which ends up being 2 miles and it always says I burned about 220 calories.

Maybe I am obsessing, maybe they are sticking out because the number 2 has always been my number, I was born on the 2nd day of the 10th. Yes I share my birthday with Gandhi.