Capture you Grief; Love letter, Honor, Just Breathe.

Day 10 – Love Letter

Dear Lily, I’m sorry is all that always comes to mind first, I’m sorry and I love you. I miss you. I wish I could hold you, to go back in time and never put you down, to bathe your tiny, beautiful body, and caress your hair and touch skin to skin. I’m sorry we never had those sweet moments, I remember the one morning I took you into my bed and cradled you, your head in the curve if my neck. the weight of your tiny body on my chest. that was my best moment with you and I wish there were more. I wish I wasn’t so scared of your tubes falling out that I had held you more. Your soft newborn skin, you freezing cold tip of your nose, and big beautiful eyes. I love you. I wish they could have saved you. I wish my body had made you properly and not missing things you needed to live. I love you and I’m sorry.  Love mom.


Day 11 – Honor

I honor you in the garden where I plant the narcissus and stargazers, I honor you in the love I show for others, for all, I honor you by being truthful, helpful but above all brave. I honor you in kindness, in hope, in volunteering. I honor you. I honor you in writing, in sharing, in memory.



Day 12 -Just Breathe

Just Breathe

                                               The pounding in my chest; just breathe

The blue of your lips please just breathe

The long walk down the cold hall; just breathe

The confusion, commotion and pain; just breathe

The panic, the pumps, the tubes please just breathe

The ache of the memory; just breathe

The swell of the tears; just breathe

The hidden glances, the averted eyes, the look of pity

Just breathe


Thanks for reading,