Capture your Grief 2018

Day 28; Shadow and Light

Thoughts dance behind the trees, the flowers sway in the breeze, dewdrops and sunlight alight the minds eye causing wonder to pass by. The shadow and light hold many secrets and stories, some to bold to be seen while others never unseen. We need the light to see the shadows and to feel the shadow to embrace the light. One without the other like night without day.

Day 29; Release

Let go of the hurt the pain feel its release into the universe, let go of the anger and hardship see it float away. Let go of the unknown, the regret, the guilt, to see it for what it is; unnecessary. Let go and live again.

Day 30; Gift of Life

We are given one life, that we know of, we know not our purpose or its meaning but we must do what we can to help, to heal, to grow, to teach and learn. The gift of life is not given to all some a minute, a few hours or weeks, maybe years but not a guarantee of a full one to all. The gift of life should not be taken for granted though it often is. The frugality of our presence overtaken by greed or want, by looks and feels over needs and deeds. The gift of life can feel like a burden to some, not a gift. Life is what you make it. I hope you chose a gift, if not to yourself than to others.



Thank you for reading,




Fear- Why?

What is fear?


Fear-verb \ˈfir\

: To be afraid of (something or someone)

: To expect or worry about (something bad or unpleasant)

: To be afraid and worried


Why do we fear the unknown?

Why do we fear change?

Why do we fear our differences?

To some fear strangles them to motionlessness; to others the push gives momentum.

As simply put as possible:

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

Franklin D. Roosevelt


We fear death, we fear life, we fear truth, we fear consequence and it all is a waste of time.

Some put their trust in faith and are perfectly happy with that, but what when you do not have faith, you have lost hope, you are afraid of everything because of the endless supply of ‘bad’ things that happen in your life? Perhaps had you not been afraid and chosen a different path it may have gone differently? Perhaps you took the easy path and ended up feeling ‘punished’? Perhaps the path you took was the one you simply followed blindly and ended up suffering but it was your path to take in order to see things differently in the world.

As I have said before, life is suffering- accept it. Fear is only in your mind. I tell my kids all the time- ‘there is nothing, nothing to be afraid of’ because there is no point in being afraid, it is a waste of your time and in life time is precious. Usually if you assume the worst but hope for the best you should always be happy for just having done.

Always do what you are afraid to do.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


When you see death first hand, you see life being ripped away unfairly, when you understand suffering throughout the world around you, you feel compassion (mixed with sorrow and grief) but compassion, as well as and hopefully empathy or a want to help or heal.

When you can see there is nothing to fear; then you can just live. When thinking not of you but of others and not of their opinion but of their wellbeing you can help and appreciate.  When is better than being afraid? When we are not.


Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

Dorothy Thompson


We fear of embarrassing someone so we don’t tell them they have something on their face

We fear of hurting someone so we lie to cover the truth

We fear of losing someone so we fake to keep them happy

We fear of trying for what if we succeed and have to change our ways

We fear of failure so why try in the first place

We fear ourselves so we copy stereotypes

We fear the truth so we hide

We fear uncomfortable-ness so we smile and say were fine


People do not like my honesty, I have been labeled mean, quiet, bitchy, and negative but I am simply honest. I choose to not hide behind the fakeness society has created for us.

I have different words for the few mentioned above:

Mean=honest (the truth sometimes hurts)

Quiet=reserved (If I have nothing nice to say I will keep quiet or walk away)

Bitchy= straight forward or blunt

Negative= real (being fake and happy all the time regardless of reality is not being positive its being fake)

I’m see myself as a realist not negative, I try to look for the silver lining but I also understand that life is better when we appreciate the little things, my kids getting dressed without me asking them 10x, or eating their whole meal without a fuss, or going to bed easily and I get some me time. Or running and screaming outside with them and it doesn’t end with someone crying because they hurt themselves that’s nice too.

I tell my kids nothing is free, nothing is fair and everything is hard but their is also nothing to be afraid of either. You have to learn, to work and what life throws at you to keep going. Then keep learning and keep working because that is life but always remember to try to enjoy today any part of it because you’ll never get it back. Am I too forward, honest or real with my kids or too “negative” too “mean” some thinks so and as I also tell my children everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as am I and they. I choose honesty. I choose to respect my kids growing brains and allow them to digest the truth. Hopefully they will understand hard work, accept death, work through frustration and live in reality.


Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

Thomas Jefferson