Recently our family went to a `Remember our Children` event it was the first in a long time that we brought our boys to, I have continued to attend many on my own not wanting my sadness to affect their thoughts on the situation. I realize in their little worlds how far away three years ago was, my youngest who was only just turning four doesn’t really remember or truly realize what happened, our older son who just turned six shortly after our daughter died was affected so much more, it has literally change the person he is today, though I will also mention not in a bad way- he is incredibly strong, as well as, he is always sensitive to others around him, he is always observing and taking note.
During the event the kids got restless and went out in the hallway, as my husband and I sat and cried, listening to grieving brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers speak, listening to the beautifully orchestrated but also the saddest music we had ever heard- we both agreed, our oldest son came back in put his arms around both our necks gave us the gentlest, most sincere hug and went back out.
Later that night as I put the younger ones to bed. He sat with his dad and casually said- `do you know what I`m thinking about` Dad said no- our son says- `she was so beautiful. That was the worst day of my life.` Dad says -I know and it was a sad ceremony, but its good to always remember her even if it hurts.`
That is when, what my wise little eight year old boy says next just blows me away, he says, -`well she`s still here`, his Dad says ` yes, she`s always with us`, he says -`no dad she’s here she’s sitting on your head, and on my head, and on moms head, sometimes when I`m at school and I’m stuck on a hard math question she helps me, like she helps you and mom when you sad.`
Dad smiles, a sad gentle smile, gives him a hug while quietly wiping away a tear.
I thought. I like that. My angel is on my head. I too smile as I cry. Its a comforting thought to know my little boy has his angel, his sister to protect, guide and help him along the way.
Thanks for reading. I hope you can cherish your angel that sits with you.