When tragedy strikes and grief ensues, your are very gently tossed into a black hole to which you curl up and stay, feeling like you never will, nor want to leave. One day many months later you see grey and as you look up the black is thinning, there may even be moments of light in your dark, they don’t last long but they begin to come in like fireflies. Years go by and you realize you are outside that hole you are not sure how it happened, some days you wish you could go back under that comforting blanket of sorrow but realize you have to learn, to grow, as well as, continue to grieve, but now you grieve differently. You now carry a bag of grief with you, everywhere. Sometimes it falls on the ground shocking you when the contents spill out, other times you hold it firmly closed. Very few people do you open it for.
Grief now takes other forms. You grieve the 2 year old that cries in a shopping cart because her mother is ignoring her, you grieve the 3 year old that laughs as her mom pushes her on the swing, you grieve every holiday that passes, every birthday, every new season, you grieve a name, a moment never had or never forgotten. Every memory turns into- before and after your loss. You learn to live with that bag. There is no choice.
Please share with me. Whats in your bag?