This is the bench I frequently sat on and cried after Lily died. I would go for an hour or sometime only minute long walks, I always ended up here, under the biggest tree in our neighborhood.
I pass it daily when I bring my kids to school and I always think of my angel when I see this bench or the beautiful tree it sits under.
Two months after my baby died, I was planting bulbs in my yard, I became very obsessed with planting and growing things- wanting to see natural phases of growth and death. I had lots of leftover bulbs so I planted five each on both sides of my bench. One for each of the angels and their parents I had met at bereavement group.
For and because of Lily’s death, I had met amazing people that had gone through the same tragedy, roughly half a dozen back then probably two dozen now.
– It is so very sad when you realize how so many people go through the traumatic tragedy of losing a baby, a toddler, a child, a teenager, a grown child. They too possibly sit under trees and cry as I did or walk by a bench that has a very personal meaning to them.
So I planted these bulbs two years ago for my angel and the other angels.
I was very disappointed that they barely sprouted last year and was quite angry when the ones that did got picked.
However I was so warmly pleased to watch them grow this spring and not just one or two like last year, all of them- big, strong, beautiful flowers, beside my bench where I will always remember my angel. I will always remember my time spent grieving on this bench, under the biggest tree in my neighborhood that now reside beside the angel flowers that I planted.