I know I will always have the one regret of not holding you enough, cuddling you more; giving you baths.
You came home for the first time six years ago today, if I knew you’d be going back in two weeks and then gone in three, oh god how I would have done it all differently. I would have taken us all away for those two glorious weeks to be together, just the four us, I never would have let you go. I would have carried you everywhere and not left you in the car seat so much. I would have bathed you every day, and cuddled you all night, every night. I am sorry that none of that happened, almost the opposite did and I will live with that regret forever.
“Your regrets aren’t what you did, but what you didn’t do. So I take every opportunity”.
When I was in my early twenties I regretted a lot of the things that I did in my teen years, when I was in my late twenties I regretted things I did in my twenties, now in my thirties, I have come to realize I actually have no regrets, not about those times, for those things I previously did. Why? Well they shaped me- yes. They were loads of fun (careless, reckless, shameless fun!) but more so because if I didn’t have all those adventures that I thought I shouldn’t have I would not have been able to enjoy my kids as much as I do now. I would not have been able to have had the thought that- ‘wow’- ‘I did a lot before having kids’ so I do not feel like I’ve missed out, as I imagine some young moms do. Yes, I was probably way too young for most of the stuff I used to do- I was going to bars at sixteen, went to Mexico on my own with my boyfriend at seventeen , Dominican Republic at nineteen and all the crazy in between. So at twenty-five, when I had my first baby that was ok- it was a hard adjustment and very different having to put someone else before you. When most my age were just entering their crazy self exploration stage, I was done! Ready to move on. I don’t have those regrets anymore, I now realize.
“Let us not bankrupt our todays by paying interest on the regrets of yesterday and by borrowing in advance the troubles of tomorrow”.
-Ralph W. Sockman
Stop regretting the stuff that doesn’t matter, you did it, get over it.
Keep moving forward.
Try new things.
Hug freely and smile at strangers.
Always remember to hold tight the ones that are still in front of you, the ones that matter because you never know when your time (or theirs) is up.
Thanks for reading